What happens when you meet your idol? You know, that person you just want to lick from eyeball to toe. Will you behave the way you think you will in your head? All cool and sophisticated. Are you more likely to turn to a mush of hormonal wetness on the floor and slide home?
Well if you happen to be my oh so together and awesome friend Violet from The Skull Illusion you will have them kneel on you from the stage and thrust next to your ear while you nonchalantly stroke their thigh and store up enough memories to keep your afternoons entertaining for years. She totally freaking owned the moment and I’m certain Nick Cave will never forget her for all the right reasons.
Now me? I’ve been there, I’ve been in the moment with my idol. His face used to hang on my bedroom wall and I would sing it to my hairbrush and one day, in a club, there he is. Just inches from me.He was not only one of my idols but his charity works for Autism groups were well known and many and I wanted to recognise that.
So what did I say in this noisy club with the music blaring and 4 bottles of Bacardi Breezers in to my night? Simple, I said “I just wanted to let you know I have a son with aspergers and I think the work you do for charity is amazing.”
Only problem was the music was too loud. He didn’t hear me. So he leant his perfect face closer to mine and said, pardon love?
Obviously I needed to simplify my sentence; you only get a few seconds with your idol after all, so I did the best I could.I put 2 thumbs in the air, threw out my cheeriest grin and said “Autism, yeah.
”That’s it. That is exactly what I said word for word.
He gave me a very nervous smile and backed away, all the while I stood there with my two thumbs up.
Why didn’t I put them down?? Someone please, for the love of god why didn’t I put my thumbs down? I just stood there until my poor mortified sister took my arm and led me away.
In the moments of life where you need to step up to the plate and prove your worth don’t rely on me ask Violet. Unless you need to throw two thumbs up, in which case I’m your girl.