I don’t follow trends, I set them.

You bundle up in the winter gear to get the toddler to preschool. You get there and toddler decides to have a total  fit about you leaving and attaches to your leg. So as a compromise you stay for 5 minutes and play cars before you get out of there.

Remember the winter gear? It’s hot in there so you take off your coat and start to make an awesome car track. Other parents are looking at you funny. Assume they are either A, jealous of your kick ass car track making skills or B, confused why you are staying when it’s not your day to. Continue to hold conversation with a mother about board meetings and terribly grown up stuff while she looks at you ever so suspiciously.

Ignore suspicious looks.

Send car down the track and the back of your hand brushes your top. Top feels soft, almost fleecy. Remember very slowly how you figured you would be in and out of preschool and you would have your winter coat on so you felt no need to change out of your pyjama top.

Send up a silent prayer that it hasn’t happened.


Look down and realise with horror that yes, you are wearing your pyjama top over jeans and boots with a scarf. Top very clearly says Tickle My Fancy.

Decide to simply brazen it out and act like totally nothing is wrong. Hope they buy it.

Get out. Get out as fast as you can.

Stop for conciliatory donuts on the way home through the drive-thru. Coat firmly buttoned up


Next stop: Walmart.



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