Posted in November 2012

Conversations with a friend.

Texting with a friend. Friend: Should I buy these shoes? Me: Yes. F: I haven’t sent you the picture yet. M: Ok. *waits an appropriate amount of time* Buy them. F: You didn’t look at the picture did you. M: I glanced. F: Look at the bloody picture and tell me if I should buy … Continue reading

Cheese before bed.

Last night during my teabreak I composed a blog post. It was funny and poignant, it made you laugh and made you stop and think for a moment. I only had 5 minutes so I jotted it down on a napkin and made sure to keep it safe in my pocket. After my teabreak was … Continue reading

Real, proper grown up stuff.

I’m very excited, it’s almost like Christmas. In fact to make it more like Christmas I waited until everybody had gone to bed and ate 3 mince pies and the good ones from the Quality Street. Not the toffee pennys, those things are some kind of weird dentist conspiracy to remove your fillings. I digress, something real … Continue reading

Pineappley Goodness

Mum, what does this pineapple juice taste like? I would say pineapple son, but it seems a touch obvious. Yeah I know, but what does it actually taste like? Pineapple. But what kind? The pineappley kind. *takes a sip* Oh I don’t like that, it tastes like pineapple. *puts head in to hands and weeps … Continue reading

Egg Snot

I can’t poach an egg. This isn’t a euphemism for life or some kind of inspirational thing where the tag line is something like ‘life is an egg’ or another collection of random words that leave you to find some totally ambiguous meaning which you will immediately apply to your own life then post on facebook with … Continue reading